My wife and I were walking last night and came upon a guy flying a radio controlled airplane in a field. I was mesmerised and stopped to watch. The guy was flying the plane around in tight cirlces and would occasionally perform a roll or dive. I’ve always thought about buying a radio controlled plane but have always talked myself out of it. My reasoning? Whats the point? Yes it will be fun for awhile to learn how to control it then make it do some interesting tricks but afterwhile I’ll just be going around in circles.
I used to race radio controlled cars, I was never very good at it, but it was fun for awhile. I didn’t really plan on racing them at first I just thought I’d get one and drive it around, before long it was abandoned because I realized I was just doing pointless circles. It wasn’t until I started racing them that I really found any direction and a purpose, which, ironiclly is to do circles faster.
Bicycle riding is different, but a little similar. One big difference is that I actually get something out of it besides entertainment, which is much improved health. But kind of similar because sometimes I just feel like I’m doing circles. There are really only four good rides I can take from my house, and when I do them by myself I sometimes feel that I am just doing circles. I have to tell myself that my ride has a purpose, but then I wonder, whats the purpose. Losing weight?
I am losing weight, but I am losing weight to be a better bike rider, sure I’m far healthier then I’ve been… ever, but still losing weight is a means to the vauge goal of riding better. Maybe the purpose is having fun? I do enjoy riding my bike, especially more with other people, but I don’t really need to be a better, faster rider to have fun. I could be like my buddy Terry who rides one day a week, and enjoys the hell out of it, (usually after he stops hurting).
I worked harder this winter and spring so that I could enjoy and do well on GOBA which I knew was going to be harder then last year. Other then constant saddle sore pain I really did enjoy it. My back never hurt, my legs didn’t get sore, I never had a bad day riding, and I didn’t suffer from headaches and killer fatigue after the ride. The thing is I could have worked about half as hard as I did and enjoyed it just as much, maybe even more. The only prize I got for having a good time on GOBA was getting to unload the lugage truck.
Right now I am content with what I am doing, but I have a suspicious notion that I will feel like I’m just doing circles more in the comming years. If I don’t have a goal to keep going around I could loose motivation. My goal could be a hard ride, next year’s GOBA is going to be flat and easy so it’ll have to be something other then that. I could start trying to get faster? I could try to go farther? I could ride both faster and farther? Whatever it is, I’ll have to think of something to keep this train rolling in the comming years.
Barn Door Cycling 
All of life is just little circles. None of it has a point unless you want it to. Read Victor Frankel’s “Man’s Search For Meaning”. The purpose of life is hidden from us until we’re past it. It can only be seen in the rear view mirror. The goals we set in front of us are not much more than telephone poles to count to occupy our time as we ride. But there is nothing else.