Jason Armes vs. Chris Horner

While riding last week in the Tour de Kota I noticed that my pal Jason looks alot like pro cyclist Chris Horner, so much so that I was jokingly calling him Chris and then forgot to stop.  Since Chris Horner is on the cover of the VeloNews that just showed up in my mailbox today I thought it might be interesting to put Jason up against Chris and see who comes out on top.


As you can see the resembelance is uncanny.  They both lack hair, though I think that Jason has just a little bit more in that department.  They both have a ginger irish look about them.  Chris has dressed up in an obvious “Lance Nut” Poser Astana jersey while Jason is keeping it real in an event Jersey, so he wins the photo part of our comparison.


Chris Horner makes me think of Harmonicas, Jason Armes makes me think of guys in war. 


 Jason probably weighs at least 50 pounds more then Chris which means that he is doing far more work when he rides his bike; he’s not a calorie counting weight weenie like Horner over there.  Mark up another win for Jason.


In the greater Columbus Ohio area Jason is known in some circles as “The Crusher,” because he will crush your soul to dust like the way he crushes the pedals on his bike.  Chris is known as “The Smiler” because he’s always smiling.  Wow, how can I even compare this, someone who will crush your soul vs. someone who is gay, I mean like in happy all the time. 

Blog Reading

Jason is a regular reader of this blog, while Chris Horner is not as far as I know.  Score another win for Jason.

Race Results

Chris has won just about every domestic road race you can think including the Tour of California of and now that he’s a hotshot Euro racer he’s been making a big splash across the pond like last year’s 10th place at the Tour de France.   

Jason has never entered a sanctioned race as far as I know, though he did ride his bike 200 miles in under 12 hours this year.  I guess we’ll have to give this one to Chris.

Well the results are in, Jason Armes wins 5 to Chris Horner’s 1.  Sure Jason’s not racing “le Tour” this year, but airfair is really expensive.  In all seriousness I seriously look forward to watching Christ Horner crush some souls in the Tour next month.  I’m telling you watch out!


About Matt Gholson

Cycling, school teaching, husband.
This entry was posted in Rants, Reviews, Stories and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Jason Armes vs. Chris Horner

  1. Steve says:

    I completely agree with your analysis – Jason is the winner far and away!

  2. Jason Armes says:


    Your analysis is flattering but I think Chris far superior. I’m hoping Chris does well in the Tour this year.



  3. JC Wise says:

    I hope some eurotrash takes the win. cunego is looking tough. basso needs to make a comeback. I alway root for thor and fabo and any spanish rider that woops ass going up a mountain. I’ll even root for a Canadian: “go Hesjedal!!!!”

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