time?

My uncle Jim died of cancer over 2 weeks ago.  I haven’t mentioned it because I have yet to decide what to say. All I can think to say is he died to early and he’ll be missed.

I have been a bit off for the last two Weeks. Firstly I’ve been eating too much. We had Several family dinners after Jim died and all of these dinners had desert. On a few I just ate desert. Secondly I’ve been thinking about a poem I read in grade school. I cant remember it’s name or how it goes the gist is this guy becomes obsessed with saving time, he does all these little stupid things to speed up his day. In the end he jumps out of a window to his death to save the time in the elevator.

It’s funny how I can remember this poem, and I still think on and off about it now and again.  I’ve been feeling like for the last few weeks I don’t have enough time.  I’m trying to figure out how to stretch out my day to do the things I want to.  I get to feeling like the things I want to do are more like work, I’m so busy trying to do them that I don’t enjoy them.

One unproductive thing I do is analyze and research something to the point where I never have time to do it.  For example, I’ve been looking for a computer war game to play, something strategic and mature.  I’ve spent many hours looking up games, trying decide on one, reading every scrap of information and chaning my mind over and over again.

When I do have free time I find myself idling away wasting it, then when free times over I get angry over how I never have enough free time.  The other morning I was trying to decide if I was going to ride, where i was going to ride, mountain bike, road bike, how far.  I checked the weather several times, I checked my email several times.  And before I knew it the morning was gone.

Time is a mysterious elusive resource, and you never know when it will disappear.  We should make the most of it while we can.

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About Matt Gholson

Cycling, school teaching, husband.
This entry was posted in lifestyle, Rants, Stories and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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